Walking in New York is like driving anywhere else. There are invisible lane divisions on every sidewalk and every stairwell, coming and going. If you get behind someone going too slowly, you look around them to see if there is space in front of them and to make sure you're not going to run into oncoming "traffic", only then do you make the move to pass. If someone cuts you off in the middle of the sidewalk or while walking up the subway stairs then has the nerve to slow down, well, most people don't yell out loud like one would do if they were alone in their car, but the screaming that goes on inside the heads of most New Yorkers is special. Yesterday I was walking very quickly to the train after work, anxious to get home. I try my best not to take the touristy streets to the train (Broadway and Canal) but sometimes those sneaky bastards find their way over to Howard or Lafayette. Three women, arms LINKED, cut in front of me and proceeded to walk at a glacial pace. My instinct was to shove them out of the way. Not wanting to risk assault charges, I walked behind them with this exactly, word for word, going through my head:

"BITCHES! UGH. Oh my God. Oh my God. So annoying. Fucking tourists. Jesus. I can't get around them. Fucking garbage piled up on the sidewalk like we live in some 3rd world country. And you're all wearing the same goddamned sweater. How can you ALL THREE BE WEARING THE SAME SWEATER AND NOT CARE??? Get. The. Fuck. Out. Of. My. Way. You can't walk three deep on the sidewalk! You can't walk three deep on the sidewalk! Oh! They're turning, they're turning...aaaand YES THANK YOU FUCKING GOD."

How am I not medicated?

Meanwhile, here are a couple of reasons I really like walking down a street in NY: